A care in spring

août 19th, 2009

I, coming up in spring, but in romantic autumn, reaped another emotion in life.

Have nothing to do love with like, have one tacit understanding only, consolation of a kind of soul. Among this world of the confusion, such pure emotion has been already scarce, perhaps have, lucky.

The ones that have spring in spring are beautiful, but the enthusiasm that has summer in summer, but use a sentimental heart of hers in autumn, all sorts of experienced in this world is beautiful. And samsara in four seasons in life, always have a kind of emotion, is collected in the heart by us, when lonely and lonely, it is sampled slowly that air.

I know that unusual this autumn. Those expressions in one’s eyes seeming to have met before, warm words, unexpected silence, let my calm heart lake flood the silk ripples of silk, have a kind of novel feeling, blow against one’s face. In time in this flowing water, such new experience, penetrated the emotion fort which I built meticulously accidentally, between being in a trance, I feel to such to have some strange already by oneself, because I can believe: Oneself can to emotion of besieged city, there is a kind of baffled expectation and hesitate too unexpectedly. Though, I have moved for such burst of heart, feel deep perplexity and uneasy for a time.

Perhaps,to time which meet right for person,thus not create every one have or for wrong emotion correctly, in the weakness of the human nature, can understand too; The emotion that can be to the moral standard of the common customs, not including the besieged city, is dangerous,

Because I do not understand, between the opposite sex attracting each other, have true friendship?

I am uncertain too, one kind of such emotion, whether to belong to sunshine or not, healthy, the space just in some time, the thought will make a blank, will suddenly think oneself is to this kind of camouflage on the emotion, feel so hard. In the face of when,dare more it say dare it think, it is reveal more by secret of bottom of heart unless you give your whole attention to it not to fear, understand oneself can but, can only hide those in bottom of heart bright, inhibit it on the bottom of heart.

Been believing all the time, there is certain self-control in handling anything oneself, but never expect, will lose oneself in such delicate emotion relation, become sentimental. Hear the rumor long long ago in fact, assess what kind of man is these secretly in bottom of heart too: Have a happy family, with a section of gorgeous other feelings, suck white poplars of different nutrients of foot like one, grow so as to have enough and to spare moistly. Has weighed it for a long time, but the state of mind has still followed to feel powerful and unconstrained style swims and goes forward, no why, only in order to untie those feelings twining on mind.

Perhaps never go through, so will experience novelly; Have never perhaps, will feel more, treasure; Perhaps, it is I that do not understand, in the emotion beyond the besieged city, really have a miracle.

It is spring, the emotion is still helded up in a certain deepest corner of bottom of heart, sprout never, in get along, precipitating, getting off slowly, then face those expressions in one’s eyes moreover day by day, learn, remain calm already, a calm one comb one’s own state of mind, let heart, begin, return to normal position.

Originally there is not a thing in the world, it of worrying oneself about nothing. Thought about it later, crazy about, it should be only that kind of feeling, the watermark that the passion longed for originally has been already worn down in the besieged city like the sunshine, go lightly gradually, another kind of lifelike emotion, become clear in dull life.

If, this is a kind of friendship, it can be like love in the life that I wish eagerly, go to till the end of the world; If, this is emotion of different class that our institute can’t find out about, only wish to stay in the dream forever, each early morning waking up, never recall.

Past and now

juillet 31st, 2009

The zither was a musical instrument in the past. It may not think, its present destiny. It sure that has other uses in surprised oneself, there is a function furnished, still can pile up baby paper urine slice, too late folding clothes, to looking musical instrument table and it that open, each permanent silence has no speech.
In the past can’t be more unable.
That piece see little nephew draw stool seal mouthfuls of those woman whose nose sneaked away in the past, unexpectedly hold the daughter’s urine one now, observe color and weight that she relieves oneself carefully, do not think at all it is discredited.
Pay attention to dress war preparedness and whereabouts in the past, can draw slippers to be hasty to pass through downtown streets worry, run into acquaintance either now.
That kind spoke unceasingly and wanted to go away when hearing others talk about the child in the past, itching now they can draw all of experience out.
The pace of having a meal now is 1/3 in the past.
Crazy about some deep, sad and dreary, decadent, fierce, uncanny characters in the past, only want to read simply, gently now, such as the brook among the mountains, limpid, sincere, do not publicize at all.
Liked listening to all sorts of music in the past, but think now the daughter’s laugh was the sounds of nature not replaced in this world.
Did not think in the past that would cherish one’s own body, begin now to understand, it was actually the children’s good fortune to process health.
Went out in the past to go shopping, could stroll and for one day, now, went out for less than one hour, begin to feel deep anxiety about the daughter.
Spent money in the past being wasteful too, costs one fen each time now, always weighing this money in the hand can be bought for daughter and wrapped up the urine slice and milk power more or less. The daughter was born in my quite frustrated time, fail to drink the best milk power for hered, not using best urine slice for her, even the small clothes which she wore on one’s body, are all cousins of her cousins’ old clothes, all these let my remorse responsibility be raw frequently, it is incessant to have a deep sign.

In the past   Now   I wonder if that there is anything not to change?

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